Dagens tanker…..om at holde sig positiv

Så ligger jeg her sammen med alle pensionisterne (som har gratis adgang om onsdagen). På sin vis passer jeg ret godt ind – jeg føler mig som en pensionist med den “gamle” og slidte krop jeg render rundt med👵🏼 Alle jeg kender er på arbejde og mange vil misunde mig for at ligge her og “nyde livet”. Ja, jeg forsøger at nyde livet, selvom jeg faktisk skal kæmpe med mine tanker hver dag for at holde mig positiv. Kiggede lige igennem gamle noter på min telefon. For 2-3 måneder siden skrev jeg faktisk alle mine bekymringer ned og det er ret lærerigt for mig at tage dem frem og læse dem igen. Det giver mig i hvert fald en påmindelse om, at jeg er kommet rigtigt langt. Her kommer de:

  1. At andre ikke forstår mig og min situation
  2. At jeg ikke har noget at bidrage med
  3. At jeg virker ynkelig og andre ikke kan holde mig ud
  4. At jeg måske skal kæmpe med systemet ifht. sygemelding/fleksjob
  5. At jeg aldrig igen kan gøre de ting jeg holder allermest af (fysisk)
  6. At jeg kun vil blive fysisk dårligere med årene
  7. At min mand på et tidspunkt får nok
  8. At jeg er nødt til at bede om hjælp
  9. At jeg aldrig får et job som giver mig værdi
  10. At jeg altid vil se mig selv som svag

Heldigvis er jeg i dag blevet ret god til ikke at bekymre mig for meget. Og mange af ovenstående bekymringer kan streges fra listen. Jeg siger ofte til mig selv, at det ikke hjælper noget at bruge energien på ting jeg ikke kan lave om på. Den energi er meget bedre brugt på at gøre nogle gode ting for mig selv, som kan være med til at gøre sygdomslivet tåleligt. Jeg har snart været sygemeldt i ½ år og jeg skal først starte arbejde om godt 2 mdr. Så det bliver i alt 8 mdr. sygemelding inden jeg skal starte ligeså stille op igen. De der følger med i mit liv på Instagram har nok også erfaret, at min hverdag ikke ligefrem er action packed. Dagene går faktisk mest med at holde familielivet kørende og samtidig finde nogle rutiner som kan begrænse mine smerter og give mig glæde i hverdagen. Her er nogle af de ting jeg arbejder med:

  • Jeg hviler min ryg minimum 4 x 1 time hver dag – det begrænser smerterne
  • Jeg forsøger hver dag at gøre noget som gør mig glad (alt fra massage til en gåtur i skoven eller små ting som en lækker is)
  • Jeg har en rutine med hver dag at finde små ting jeg sætter pris på, som jeg ikke havde tænkt på før jeg blev syg
  • Jeg forsøger at lave mindfulness hver dag
  • Jeg bruger længere tid på at putte mine børn – det er kvalitetstid som giver glæde til os alle
  • 3 dage om ugen cykler børnene direkte hjem fra skole kl. 14.15. Selvom jeg ofte ligger i sengen så er det dejligt at være her for dem og de ikke skal have så mange timer i institution.
  • Jeg arbejder hver dag målrettet med at lade tingene ligge. Her mener jeg det huslige (vasketøj, støvsugning og rod) – jeg har altid været perfektionist🙈 så det er sundt for mig at blive tvunget til det
  • Når jeg har en dårlig dag SKAL jeg afslutte den med positive tanker. Det er lidt ligesom hvis man har haft et skænderi med manden, så er det altså bedst lige at få snakket ud og slutte fred inden man lægger sig til at sove. Det samme gør jeg med mig selv.
  • Hvis jeg laver nogle fejl fx at overvurdere mine egne evner eller har planlagt min dag forkert. Så er det vigtigt at jeg evaluerer på det bagefter. Jeg snakker med min mand om det og sammen komme frem til, hvordan jeg skal takle det næste gang. På den måde håber jeg på ikke at lave den samme fejl to gange.
  • Også har jeg installeret en kæmpe PYT knap i mine tanker og jeg bruger den flittigt – den er af høj kvalitet og kan ikke slides op😉

Hverdagene går stærkt og jeg føler jeg har travlt. Ja, jeg ved godt det lyder mærkeligt, men når ens krop har fysiske begrænsninger, så tager alt ting bare utrolig lang tid. Et eksempel er at morgenrutinen som normalt tager 1 times tid tager nu min. 1½ time og bagefter har min krop behov for min. 1 times hvil. Så samlet tager morgenrutinen nu omkring 2½ timer. Så flyver dagen altså hurtigt afsted.

Lige nu kæmper jeg med en bekymring om, hvordan jeg til august skal holde til både at starte genoptræning og arbejde på en gang. Jeg glæder mig, men samtidig er jeg bange for at jeg ikke kan klare det fysisk og må give op igen. Sådan som min krop har det lige nu kan jeg ikke forestille mig hvordan jeg skal kunne arbejde og samtidig finde tid til genoptræning. Den bekymring ville de fleste nok have og igen så skal jeg ikke bruge tid på at bekymre mig om noget jeg ikke kan lave om på. Så det vil jeg forsøge……

Håber du måske kan bruge nogle af mine taktikker i din hverdag. Syg som rask kan vi nok alle gøre lidt anderledes for at få en bedre hverdag.

Tak fordi du læste med 😊

Kærligst Zinna

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63 kommentarer

  1. Meget inspirerende læsning. Jeg er ” ny” med kroniske smerter ingen ved endnu hvor meget af det jeg døjer med nu bliver hængende. Jeg er deltidssygemeldt men ville ønske at jeg som du kunne være fuldtidssygemeldt det ville give mig så meget ro til at lære at leve ” mit nye liv”

    1. Hej Hanne
      Det er svært at tilpasse sig det nye liv med kroniske smerter og kræver meget energi. Kan godt forstå du har brug ro til det. Det er vigtigt at dit helbred bliver din absolut første prioritet. Det har jeg lært på den hårde måde. Hvis ikke du er i balance så kan du på sigt ikke være noget for hverken dine nærmeste eller din arbejdsgiver. Ønsker det bedste for dig.
      Kh Zinna

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