Den forbudte følelse…..

Det er vel en naturlig ting at sammenligne sig med andre, og ind i mellem tænker vi nok alle ”Gid det var mig”. Men ”misundelse er en grim ting”, og det er som om misundelse er en forbudt følelse – vi siger det i hvert fald ikke højt hvis vi føler det. Men selvom det er en forbudt følelse, så vil jeg mene den er ret normal, og især når man lever et liv med smerter (eller kæmper med noget andet). Jeg skal være den første til at indrømme, at jeg er misundelig på andres gode helbred og deres uanede muligheder – muligheder som jeg ikke længere har. Det er stensikkert, at når jeg sammenligner mig selv med raske, så bliver jeg enormt ked af det, og jeg ved det er selvdestruktivt. Så stop dog med at tænke sådan – jeg ved det, men det er sgu nemmere sagt end gjort.

Hvorfor skal jeg lide og have ondt når ”alle” andre bare kan nyde livet?
Det er skide uretfærdigt. De burde mærke hvordan det er.

Hold da op en grim tanke – med det samme kommer selvkritikken stormende ind over mig. Hvor er du pisse egoistisk at tænke sådan – du er jo et dårligt menneske – du burde skamme dig….. og sådan kører den ellers i ring derfra og det er svært at stoppe igen.

Men heldigvis har jeg også en fornuft og nogle rationelle tanker. Jeg ved jo godt, at mit liv ikke bare ville være uendeligt lykkeligt, hvis mine smerter forsvandt. Man kan have en tendens til at tro, at hvis bare smerterne forsvandt, så ville man ingen bekymringer have. Man tror jo altid græsset er grønnere på den anden side…… Men jeg ved jo godt at alle dem jeg kan misunde for deres gode helbred, de har også deres at slås med – det har langt de fleste jo. Så når jeg kigger på andre som udadtil virker til at have det perfekte liv, så prøver jeg at huske mig selv på, at de sikkert også har nogle ting de måske misunder mig eller andre for. Det er jo heller ikke nogen stor hjælp at dagens moderne liv er en lang række perfekte billeder på de sociale medier, hvor vi ikke ligefrem reklamerer med vores kriser i livet. Ikke fordi jeg mener alle skal skrive i deres statusopdatering, at nu er der krise i parforholdet, eller nu er man gået ned med stress. Men problemet er, at vi kun ser det perfekte og danner os et urealistisk billede af, hvordan andres liv er og hvordan mit dermed også burde være.

Vi taler bare ikke om misundelse – det er så forbudt og tabubelagt. Men jeg synes faktisk hellere vi skal være ærlige omkring det, for jeg er ret sikker på, at vi alle i kampens hede kan føle misundelse. Jeg tror det er vigtigt vi konfronterer den følelse og mærker efter præcis hvad det er jeg mangler i mit liv siden jeg føler misundelse. Det er jo en følelse der kommer fordi vi savner noget i vores liv eller ved os selv. Vi kan jo være misundelige på både materielle ting, som at andre har en fed bil eller råd til luksus, men vi kan vel også være misundelig på andres personlighed, udseende eller egenskaber. Men at føle misundelse er vel lidt det samme som at gøre andre ansvarlig for min lykke? Der må jeg jo tage ansvar for mit eget liv og kæmpe for at få de ting jeg misunder andre for. Jeg kan jo ikke bare uden videre få det gode helbred jeg misunder, men måske kan jeg på en ny måde få de muligheder som raske har? Det vil jeg simpelthen lige arbejde lidt med og vender tilbage senere på ugen, med en helt konkret udfordring jeg har stillet mig selv i den forbindelse. En meget grænseoverskridende udfordring!👀

Tak fordi du læste med 😊
Kærligst Zinna

Jeg modtager meget gerne kommentar og inputs – det kan gøres nedenfor. Du behøver ikke registrere dig – kun hvis du trykker ‘like’ – aner ikke hvorfor og kan ikke finde ud af at lave det om🙈

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