Hvordan bliver man ligeglad med hvad andre tænker?

De siger det alle steder, vi forsøger at overbevise os selv om det, og de sociale medier prædiker om, at vi skal være ligeglade med hvad andre tænker om os. Men er det overhovedet muligt? Det vil jeg gerne diskutere, for jeg er nok af den overbevisning at vi skal gribe det an på en anden måde.

Jeg vil tage udgangspunkt i menneskets behov. Vores første og mest vigtige behov er det fysiologiske behov, som kommer til udtryk gennem sult, tørst og søvn. I denne del af verden er vi så priviligeret, at de fleste slet ikke bekymrer sig om at få dækket dette behov. Når dette behov er tilfredsstillet opstår behovet for sikkerhed og tryghed dvs. beskyttelse mod vind og vejr, smerter og andet ubehag såsom angst og frygt. Tja, dette behov er mange så heldige også at kunne skøjte igennem, men langt fra alle. Efter behovet for tryghed kommer det jeg vil frem til, nemlig det sociale behov. Vi har et stort behov for fællesskab, kærlighed, venskab samt at have et tilhørsforhold til enkeltpersoner og grupper. Det er også spørgsmålet om at føle sig accepteret af sine nære omgivelser, familie, naboer og arbejdskollegaer.

Det er vel dette behov der spiller ind når man bekymrer sig om hvad andre tænker om en. Vil de nu acceptere mig som jeg er? Vil jeg stadig være en del af fællesskabet? Vil jeg forsat blive elsket og værdsat? Måske gør vi ubevidst mere for at få dækket dette behov end vi lige vil erkende og/eller stå ved. Vores adfærd er vel i høj grad styret af, at vi ønsker at blive accepteret, elsket og være en del af et fællesskab. Nogen påstår de er ligeglad med hvad andre tænker om dem. Det vil jo sige, at de ikke vil lade andres mening eller bedømmelse påvirke deres adfærd. De påstår, at de hviler så meget i sig selv, at de i kraft af deres høje selvværd kan gøre 100% hvad de har lyst til uden at tænke på hvad andre tænker om det.

Og her er vi nået til det næste behov. På dette niveau drejer behovene sig om selvrespekt, selvtillid, kunnen, anerkendelse, status og værdighed. Men husk at dette behov først bliver påtrængende når behovene på de tre lavere niveauer er tilfredsstillet. Det vil sige at det sociale behov først skal dækkes. Det giver mening, for hvordan skal man fx kunne føle anerkendelse og værdighed, hvis ikke man er en del af et socialt fællesskab?

Jeg vil derfor mene, at det er meget svært, at påstå at andres mening ikke betyder noget. Men man kan så omvendt sige, at hvis man har opbygget et meget højt selvværd, føler sig anerkendt og respekteret i alle aspekter i livet, og man stortrives socialt, så føler man måske at andres mening ikke betyder noget. Men hvis nu denne person med det høje selvværd pludselig ikke får den samme respekt og anerkendelse, og vedkommende måske endda ikke længere føler sig en del af fællesskabet – så vil det vel ramme hans selvværd og så vil andres mening jo alligevel komme til at betyde noget.

Giver det mening – det håber jeg🤔

Efter jeg skrev ovenstående læste jeg et opslag på Instagram. Ja, jeg kan fundere og skrive på mine blogindlæg over lang tid – nogle gange flere uger. Opslaget er skrevet af Hverdags_psykologi og jeg vil opfordre dig til at læse hele indlægget her.

Hverdags_Psykologi på Instagram kan virkelig anbefales. Jeg er vild med hendes fine stregtegninger og vigtige budskaber.

Indlægget handler kort fortalt om, at vi alle gerne vil passe ind og være perfekt, og den facade vi går rundt med netop for at skjule vores kriser kræver utroligt meget af os, og kan være med til at vælte os. Men at mange af os samtidig godt kan lide at være sammen med mennesker, som er oprigtige og viser deres sårbarhed – fordi sammen med disse mennesker kan vi slappe af og lade facaden få en pause. Hverdags_psykologi opfordrer til, at vi er mere ærlige om de udfordringer vi møder i livet – de problemer som kan gøre livet svært.

Dette rammende indlæg fik mig til at tænke over, at det måske ikke handler så meget om hvad andre tænker om os, men at det måske handler mere om at omgive os med mennesker, som kan rumme os og vores op- og nedture. Jeg har gennem de sidste 10 år været igennem flere kriser, og jeg har tydeligt i mine kriser kunne mærke, at mennesker reagerer meget forskelligt på min åbenhed omkring det. Jeg har altid været meget åben omkring mine kriser – jeg viser når tårerne ikke kan holdes tilbage og det hele virker håbløst, men jeg viser også min glædesrus når tingene vender og det går fremad.  Det er jo sådan livet er – det går op og ned – også for dem som ikke fortæller åbent om det. Mange har en tendens til at sammenligne deres liv med andres, hvilket kan være meget skadeligt. Jeg har altid forsøgt at minde mig selv om at de fleste har kriser, også dem der skjuler det. Der er selvfølgelig nogen der slipper nemmere igennem livet end andre, men det gavner jo ikke mig at være misundelig over det.

Jeg må indrømme, at jeg tidligere har tænkt meget over hvad andre tænker om mig, dog har det aldrig stoppet mig fra at være åben omkring mine kriser. Jeg har især med opstart af denne blog for et halvt år siden, delt mine kriser med alle, men jeg kan også mærke at det deler vandene. Nogen synes det er sejt, nogen jeg ikke taler så meget med rækker pludselig en hånd ud og åbner op, fordi de kan nikke genkendende til mine følelser. Men andre bliver tavse og kan ikke rumme den åbenhed og den udlevering jeg pludselig kommer med omkring noget, som andre finder meget privat. Det er for mig helt naturligt, at vi er meget forskellige på det område, men med inspiration fra Hverdags_psykologi kan jeg kun være tilhænger af, at vi alle åbner lidt mere op og dermed gør det mere normalt at have kriser. Og her taler jeg ikke kun om de åbenbare livskriser som ikke kan skjules, men også de mere skjulte kriser, som der er mere tabubelagte. Den eneste måde vi kan skabe mere viden og bekæmpe tabuet er ved at tale om det. Det behøves ikke gøres ved at starte en blog, men kan også gøres ved at åbne lidt mere op for venner, familie, kollegaer osv.

Gennem de sidste år er jeg i hvert fald personligt kommet frem til, at jeg fungerer bedst når jeg omgiver mig med mennesker som, ligesom mig, er åbne om deres op- og nedture i livet. Med dem kan jeg slappe af, være mig selv og føle mig accepteret – også når mit liv ikke er perfekt (hvilket det sjældent er). Jeg føler jeg har mere at snakke med disse mennesker om, og jeg får noget positivt med fra samværet. I mine sårbare perioder kan det dræne mig for energi at være sammen med mennesker, som altid opretholder facaden og ikke åbner op.

Så min konklusion må være, at det ikke handler så meget om, at vi skal være ligeglade med hvad andre mennesker tænker om os – for det mener jeg er umuligt. Men at det handler mere om, at vi omgiver os med mennesker, som også viser det uperfekte og dermed ikke tænker negativt om os når vi ikke er perfekte. På den måde vil vi jo naturligt ikke bekymre os så meget om andres mening. Hvis man indgår i et fællesskab, hvor der tales om livets op- og nedture (også de mere private og svære af slagsen), så vil det jo blive normalen og man vil ikke føle sig anderledes, fordi man i en periode er meget sårbar eller fejler. Og jo mere åben vi alle er omkring den slags jo mere normalt vil det blive, og det vil gå op for os at det perfekte, det findes ikke. Så vi bliver nok aldrig helt ligeglad med hvad andre tænker om os, men vi kan befinde os i et miljø hvor vi kan være trygge og være os selv.

Tak fordi du læste med 😊
Kærligst Zinna

You may also like

139 kommentarer

  1. I enjoy you because of all your efforts on this web page. Ellie really likes carrying out investigations and it’s really easy to understand why. All of us notice all concerning the lively way you make powerful steps on the web site and as well inspire participation from visitors on this concept then our favorite girl is actually becoming educated so much. Have fun with the rest of the year. You’re conducting a superb job.

  2. My spouse and i got really thankful Raymond managed to do his reports with the precious recommendations he grabbed from your very own blog. It’s not at all simplistic to just always be freely giving concepts that many people have been trying to sell. We really keep in mind we need the blog owner to be grateful to because of that. The specific explanations you made, the simple blog navigation, the relationships you will help to promote – it’s got mostly unbelievable, and it’s letting our son in addition to our family feel that this issue is enjoyable, and that is exceptionally important. Thanks for all the pieces!

  3. I discovered your blog web site on google and examine a few of your early posts. Continue to keep up the very good operate. I simply additional up your RSS feed to my MSN News Reader. Looking for forward to studying extra from you afterward!?

  4. There are some fascinating cut-off dates in this article but I don抰 know if I see all of them heart to heart. There may be some validity however I will take maintain opinion till I look into it further. Good article , thanks and we want more! Added to FeedBurner as nicely

  5. Aw, this was a really nice post. In idea I would like to put in writing like this additionally ?taking time and actual effort to make a very good article?but what can I say?I procrastinate alot and not at all appear to get one thing done.

  6. I must show some appreciation to the writer just for rescuing me from such a problem. Right after looking throughout the the net and seeing tricks which are not pleasant, I thought my life was gone. Existing devoid of the answers to the problems you’ve sorted out by means of your main article content is a critical case, and ones that would have in a negative way damaged my career if I had not encountered your web site. The training and kindness in taking care of all things was priceless. I am not sure what I would have done if I hadn’t come across such a point like this. I am able to at this time look ahead to my future. Thank you very much for this expert and effective guide. I won’t be reluctant to propose the sites to any individual who would need guidelines on this subject matter.

  7. I would like to express my thanks to the writer for bailing me out of this type of dilemma. Right after checking through the search engines and seeing ideas which are not beneficial, I figured my life was well over. Being alive devoid of the solutions to the difficulties you’ve sorted out by way of your main guide is a critical case, and the ones which may have negatively damaged my career if I had not come across your web blog. Your actual ability and kindness in maneuvering the whole lot was tremendous. I’m not sure what I would have done if I had not come across such a point like this. It’s possible to at this point relish my future. Thanks very much for this professional and sensible guide. I won’t be reluctant to recommend your web site to any individual who needs to have direction about this situation.

  8. My husband and i ended up being so thrilled that Michael could carry out his investigation from your ideas he made out of the web site. It’s not at all simplistic to just continually be freely giving thoughts which often some other people might have been making money from. And we all figure out we’ve got the writer to be grateful to for this. The most important illustrations you made, the easy website menu, the relationships you make it easier to promote – it is mostly amazing, and it is aiding our son in addition to us reckon that this article is entertaining, and that’s especially pressing. Thanks for all!

  9. I wish to show my love for your kind-heartedness supporting persons that really need help on this particular subject. Your personal dedication to getting the message all around had become especially advantageous and have in most cases enabled regular people much like me to achieve their goals. Your entire useful publication signifies a great deal a person like me and far more to my colleagues. Thanks a lot; from each one of us.

  10. I would like to express my thanks to this writer for rescuing me from such a matter. After surfing through the online world and seeing opinions which were not beneficial, I was thinking my entire life was over. Living minus the answers to the difficulties you’ve sorted out all through your main guide is a critical case, as well as those that might have in a wrong way damaged my entire career if I had not encountered your web page. Your own competence and kindness in playing with everything was very helpful. I don’t know what I would’ve done if I had not come across such a point like this. I can now look forward to my future. Thanks a lot so much for the professional and sensible help. I will not be reluctant to endorse your blog post to any person who should get guidance on this issue.

  11. I must show some appreciation to the writer for bailing me out of this type of incident. Because of looking through the search engines and obtaining recommendations that were not pleasant, I figured my entire life was over. Being alive without the presence of approaches to the issues you’ve sorted out by way of your entire review is a critical case, as well as the kind which might have badly affected my entire career if I hadn’t noticed your web site. Your good ability and kindness in playing with every item was priceless. I’m not sure what I would’ve done if I hadn’t come upon such a solution like this. I can at this time look ahead to my future. Thank you so much for your specialized and result oriented guide. I will not hesitate to propose the website to anybody who would need counselling about this area.

  12. certainly like your website but you
    부산키스방

    eed to test the spelling on quite a few of your posts. Several of them are rife with spelling issues and I to find it very bothersome to tell the reality nevertheless I will certainly come again again.

  13. I simply desired to thank you so much again. I’m not certain the things that I would have made to happen without the entire information shared by you regarding that question. It absolutely was a real hard difficulty for me, however , spending time with a new professional way you managed that made me to leap for contentment. I’m grateful for this information as well as have high hopes you are aware of a great job your are accomplishing educating other individuals using your webblog. More than likely you have never got to know any of us.

  14. I must express thanks to this writer for bailing me out of this crisis. Because of surfing throughout the online world and obtaining recommendations which were not powerful, I was thinking my life was gone. Living minus the strategies to the difficulties you’ve resolved all through this guide is a serious case, and the kind that would have badly affected my career if I hadn’t come across the website. Your good expertise and kindness in taking care of everything was excellent. I don’t know what I would’ve done if I hadn’t encountered such a step like this. I am able to at this point look ahead to my future. Thanks for your time very much for your specialized and results-oriented help. I will not hesitate to propose your web page to anybody who needs guidelines about this topic.

  15. I simply needed to say thanks yet again. I’m not certain the things I could possibly have undertaken without the methods shared by you concerning such a topic. Certainly was a very frightening problem in my circumstances, but seeing a skilled strategy you dealt with the issue took me to weep over joy. I am happier for the information and then sincerely hope you are aware of an amazing job your are doing instructing the others thru a blog. I know that you haven’t come across all of us.

  16. I would like to express my love for your kind-heartedness for people that need guidance on this important concern. Your very own dedication to passing the solution all around came to be quite advantageous and has continuously encouraged employees much like me to reach their targets. The interesting tutorial means a whole lot a person like me and substantially more to my peers. Warm regards; from everyone of us.

  17. I beloved up to you will obtain performed proper here. The caricature is tasteful, your
    authored material stylish. nonetheless, you command get got an edginess over
    that you wish be handing over the following. sick indisputably come more until now once
    more as exactly the similar just about a lot often inside
    case you shield this hike.

    my web site; coupon (ezproxy.cityu.edu.hk)

  18. I will right away clutch your rss feed as I can not
    in finding your e-mail subscription hyperlink or newsletter service.
    Do you have any? Kindly permit me know so that I could subscribe.

    Thanks.

  19. I am glad for writing to let you know what a exceptional discovery my friend’s daughter enjoyed visiting your web site. She even learned plenty of things, which include what it is like to have a very effective giving character to let many more clearly grasp some extremely tough things. You actually did more than her expected results. Thank you for displaying such interesting, trustworthy, edifying not to mention easy tips on your topic to Lizeth.

  20. Thanks for your own efforts on this website. My mom loves participating in research and it’s easy to understand why. We all hear all regarding the dynamic medium you provide practical guidelines through this web blog and as well as improve response from other people on this situation while our favorite daughter is really being taught a lot of things. Take pleasure in the rest of the year. You have been carrying out a really good job.

  21. I precisely desired to thank you very much all over again. I’m not certain the things that I would have carried out without these basics provided by you over such a problem. It became a frustrating concern in my position, however , finding out the very well-written tactic you processed the issue forced me to cry for fulfillment. I will be grateful for your assistance and in addition sincerely hope you really know what an amazing job you happen to be doing training some other people via your webpage. Most probably you haven’t got to know any of us.

  22. I’ll right away clutch your rss feed as I can not to find your e-mail subscription hyperlink or newsletter service.

    Do you have any? Kindly let me understand in order that I may subscribe.

    Thanks.

  23. Hey would you mind stating which blog platform you’re using?
    I’m looking to start my own blog soon but I’m having a difficult time deciding between BlogEngine/Wordpress/B2evolution and Drupal.
    The reason I ask is because your design and
    style seems different then most blogs and I’m looking for something completely unique.

    P.S Apologies for getting off-topic but I had to ask!

  24. Hi! I’ve been reading your website for some time now and finally got the courage to go ahead and give you a
    shout out from Porter Texas! Just wanted to tell you
    keep up the fantastic work!

  25. I have been surfing online more than 3 hours today, yet I never found any interesting article like
    yours. It’s pretty worth enough for me. In my opinion, if all webmasters and
    bloggers made good content as you did, the internet will be much more useful than ever before.

  26. I have been surfing online more than three hours today, yet I by no means found any interesting
    article like yours. It is lovely price sufficient for me.
    In my opinion, if all site owners and bloggers
    made excellent content material as you did, the net might be a lot more useful than ever before.

  27. Hi, i read your blog from time to time and i own a similar one and i was
    just curious if you get a lot of spam comments?
    If so how do you prevent it, any plugin or anything you can advise?
    I get so much lately it’s driving me mad so any assistance
    is very much appreciated.

  28. It is the best time to make a few plans for the long run and
    it is time to be happy. I’ve read this publish and if I could I wish to suggest you some fascinating issues or suggestions.
    Perhaps you could write next articles regarding this article.
    I desire to learn even more things about it!

  29. I’ve been surfing online greater than three hours as of
    late, but I by no means discovered any fascinating article like yours.
    It is pretty worth sufficient for me. In my opinion, if all
    webmasters and bloggers made just right content material as you did, the internet will probably be much more useful than ever before.

  30. I realized more new stuff on this weight reduction issue. Just one issue is a good nutrition is tremendously vital if dieting. A tremendous reduction in bad foods, sugary foodstuff, fried foods, sweet foods, beef, and whitened flour products can be necessary. Keeping wastes organisms, and harmful toxins may prevent targets for fat loss. While certain drugs momentarily solve the matter, the terrible side effects are usually not worth it, and so they never offer you more than a short-lived solution. This can be a known undeniable fact that 95 of celebrity diets fail. Thank you for sharing your notions on this blog site.

  31. I wish to express some appreciation to this writer just for rescuing me from this particular circumstance. Just after looking out throughout the internet and getting advice that were not productive, I figured my life was gone. Living minus the solutions to the problems you have fixed all through this site is a critical case, and the ones which might have adversely damaged my entire career if I had not noticed your site. Your mastery and kindness in playing with all things was crucial. I’m not sure what I would have done if I hadn’t come across such a stuff like this. I can also at this time relish my future. Thanks a lot so much for your impressive and effective help. I will not be reluctant to suggest your web sites to anybody who would need tips about this matter.

  32. Thank you so much for giving everyone an exceptionally splendid opportunity to read articles and blog posts from this web site. It is always so good and also stuffed with a good time for me personally and my office colleagues to search your web site really three times per week to read the newest items you have. Of course, I’m so usually contented with all the impressive thoughts you give. Selected 1 points in this posting are really the most efficient we have all ever had.

  33. I not to mention my friends were digesting the best techniques on your site while at once I got an awful feeling I had not expressed respect to the web site owner for those tips. All the people came absolutely stimulated to see them and now have in actuality been using them. Many thanks for genuinely indeed helpful as well as for picking out some really good things most people are really wanting to learn about. Our sincere regret for not expressing appreciation to you sooner.

  34. Thanks a lot for providing individuals with an extremely superb possiblity to check tips from here. It’s usually very excellent and also stuffed with amusement for me personally and my office peers to search your web site no less than three times in a week to read the newest guidance you have got. And indeed, I’m also certainly satisfied with your dazzling tactics you serve. Some 1 ideas in this post are surely the most beneficial we have all had.

  35. I was wondering if you ever considered changing the structure of your website?
    Its very well written; I love what youve got to say.

    But maybe you could a little more in the way of content
    so people could connect with it better. Youve got an awful
    lot of text for only having one or 2 images.
    Maybe you could space it out better?

  36. Hi, Neat post. There’s a problem together with your site in internet explorer, may test this?
    IE still is the market chief and a big section of people will miss your fantastic writing due to this problem.

  37. Needed to write you this tiny word to be able to thank you very much as before for the stunning concepts you have provided at this time. It has been so particularly generous with people like you giving unreservedly precisely what a lot of people could have advertised as an electronic book to get some bucks for themselves, most importantly since you could possibly have tried it in the event you desired. Those things also acted like the good way to be aware that someone else have the identical fervor just as mine to find out great deal more when it comes to this matter. I believe there are lots of more enjoyable situations up front for many who check out your website.

  38. My wife and i felt quite comfortable Edward could finish off his investigation through the precious recommendations he discovered through your web pages. It is now and again perplexing just to always be offering steps which people may have been making money from. We discover we have the website owner to be grateful to for that. The most important explanations you’ve made, the straightforward site menu, the friendships your site make it easier to create – it’s got most impressive, and it’s making our son in addition to the family believe that that article is exciting, which is particularly mandatory. Thanks for all the pieces!

  39. Thanks a lot for providing individuals with an exceptionally pleasant chance to discover important secrets from here. It is always very awesome and also packed with amusement for me personally and my office co-workers to visit your website on the least three times per week to read the latest issues you will have. And indeed, I’m also usually amazed for the great pointers served by you. Some 2 areas in this post are basically the finest I’ve ever had.

  40. My husband and i felt really fortunate when Michael could do his preliminary research because of the ideas he acquired through the weblog. It is now and again perplexing to just find yourself freely giving methods many others could have been trying to sell. And we keep in mind we need the blog owner to appreciate because of that. The most important illustrations you’ve made, the straightforward website menu, the friendships your site give support to engender – it is most spectacular, and it is leading our son and the family consider that that article is entertaining, which is exceptionally pressing. Thank you for all the pieces!

  41. Thank you a lot for giving everyone an extremely wonderful chance to discover important secrets from this blog. It is usually very good and also stuffed with amusement for me and my office fellow workers to search your web site minimum thrice every week to learn the latest guidance you have. And indeed, I’m just actually fulfilled concerning the unique thoughts served by you. Some two tips on this page are undoubtedly the most efficient we’ve ever had.

  42. Needed to put you this very little observation to be able to say thanks a lot as before relating to the breathtaking views you have featured on this page. This has been so surprisingly generous of you to deliver extensively all that numerous people could have distributed as an e book to get some dough for themselves, notably since you could possibly have done it in case you desired. These good tips likewise worked to become a great way to understand that other people have a similar dream much like my very own to realize a little more concerning this condition. I am certain there are many more fun sessions up front for those who looked over your blog.

  43. I’m also commenting to let you understand of the fabulous experience my princess gained viewing yuor web blog. She even learned a wide variety of issues, which included how it is like to possess a very effective helping style to make a number of people without difficulty gain knowledge of a variety of tricky topics. You undoubtedly surpassed my expected results. I appreciate you for giving such productive, safe, informative and as well as fun tips about this topic to Emily.

  44. I simply had to appreciate you once more. I do not know the things I would’ve used in the absence of these creative concepts revealed by you over this problem. This has been a real traumatic case in my opinion, but coming across this expert tactic you dealt with that took me to leap for fulfillment. Now i am happy for the guidance and as well , pray you recognize what a great job your are carrying out training people through your site. Most likely you haven’t come across any of us.

  45. I am curious to find out what blog system you are working with?
    I’m experiencing some small security issues with my latest site and I’d like to find something more secure.
    Do you have any recommendations?

  46. I in addition to my buddies have already been reviewing the excellent suggestions found on your web site and then all of the sudden came up with a horrible suspicion I had not expressed respect to the web site owner for them. All of the boys ended up so glad to see all of them and already have surely been enjoying them. Appreciate your getting indeed kind as well as for getting this kind of ideal subjects millions of individuals are really eager to understand about. Our honest apologies for not saying thanks to earlier.

  47. I not to mention my buddies happened to be reading the nice tips and tricks from your site and then I got a terrible suspicion I never thanked the website owner for those tips. My women had been totally glad to read all of them and have really been making the most of them. Thank you for simply being quite helpful and then for making a decision on certain high-quality tips millions of individuals are really eager to know about. My honest apologies for not saying thanks to sooner.

  48. I wanted to compose you that very little note to help thank you over again just for the wonderful ideas you have provided above. It was particularly open-handed of people like you in giving without restraint what exactly some people could possibly have marketed as an ebook to make some dough for their own end, certainly now that you might have done it in case you desired. The good tips also served as a good way to fully grasp most people have the same dream the same as my very own to know the truth very much more in respect of this issue. I’m sure there are several more enjoyable situations in the future for people who check out your website.

  49. Pingback: t shirt ted
  50. Pingback: levitra dosage
  51. Pingback: viagra gold 800 mg
  52. Pingback: viagra or cialis
  53. Pingback: fildena vs viagra
  54. Pingback: viagra in action
  55. Pingback: viagra sin receta
  56. Pingback: mom son viagra
  57. Pingback: buy viagra
  58. Pingback: atorvastatin moa

Skriv et svar

Din e-mailadresse vil ikke blive publiceret.