Kropsidealer anno 2018

Mig og mit selvbillede? Tja, jeg er på vej til et liv i balance, men jeg kan ikke påstå, at jeg hviler i mig selv ifht. mit udseende. Det er bedre end det har været og jeg er ok tilfreds med det meste, men der er også dele af min krop jeg absolut ikke er tilfreds med. Så kunne jeg jo vælge at knokle en hvis kropsdel i laser indtil jeg blev tilfreds. Jeg kunne starte kalorietælling og bruge al min fritid i fitness centret – men bliver jeg lykkeligere af det? Jeg har hørt om rigtig mange der har tabt sig mange kilo og nået deres mål, men bagefter må erkende at det ikke gjorde dem lykkeligere.

Jeg vil gerne spise sundt og jeg vil gerne træne – kan faktisk rigtig godt lide begge dele. Men når det bliver med et mål om at nå en bestemt vægt eller kropsform, så går det sjove sgu af det. Mad er en livsnydelse for mig og jeg vil ikke være bundet af bestemt regler – det skal være drevet af lyst. Og jeg vil gerne være stærk og fit, men ikke med formålet om at nå et bestemt kropsideal. Det skal udelukkende være med formålet om at have en sund og stærk krop.

Og jeg ved godt at en stor del af jer tænker: “Hun skulle skamme sig”. Og jeg ved godt, at jeg hverken er tyk eller grim, men det er også netop en af grundene til at jeg vil sætte fokus på at blive tilfreds, for jeg har faktisk ikke grund til at være utilfreds. Men hvornår bliver man nogensinde tilfreds? Man vil jo altid have det man ikke har. Jeg har tynde ben, en flad røv og en god rund mave og fyldige bryster, som jeg gør alt for at skjule. Jeg misunder kvinder med en fyldig røv, og de gode lår må gerne følge med, hvis bare jeg kunne få deres flade mave og små bryster. Og mange ville nok gerne bytte med mig, for de vil ligesom mig gerne have alt det de ikke har.

Hvis jeg kan lære at leve et lykkeligt liv med smerter, så burde jeg virkelig også kunne lære at være tilfreds med mit spejlbillede. Jeg kan mærke at sygdommen har gjort noget positivt for mit selvbillede og jeg fornemmer jeg er på vej i den rigtige retning. Det bliver lige pludseligt lidt ligegyldigt, om jeg har et par deller på maven, eller for den sags skyld skæve tæer og grå hår (her kan jeg i øvrigt tilføje, at jeg har ladet mit grå hår vokse ud i næsten ½ år uden at farve det – måske det er tid til at gå naturel!?!).

Jeg er også ok tilfreds, men ikke nok til at jeg er tryg ved at lægge billeder af mig selv på SoMe. Når jeg endelig gør det er det med et sug i maven, jeg har mindst taget 10 billeder og måske brugt lidt filter inden jeg blev tilfreds. Men jeg er ved at rykke på mine grænser, og jeg øver mig med selfies og video stories med mig selv på. Og jeg har lovet mig selv aldrig at bruge filter igen!! Jeg kan mærke at det bliver nemmere og nemmere jo mere jeg gør det.

Jeg mener vi også selv må tage ansvar. Mange af os (inkl. mig selv førhen) har nogle gange en tendens til at dele den “perfekte” del af vores liv på de sociale medier, og dermed bliver det vi ser hurtigt til normalen/standarden. Jeg ved godt at det bliver meget personligt for mange, hvis de skulle dele det svære i livet eller det knap så pæne. Men det er vel ligeså almindeligt at gennemgå svære tider som at opleve succes. Det er helt ok at trække en grænse og kun dele det positive, fordi man ikke har lyst til at alle skal vide alt. Ingen kritik af det – man skal absolut ikke dele mere end man føler sig tryg ved. Men jeg må bare opfordre til kun at vise virkligheden- ikke gøre nogle bestemte ting eller købe bestemte ting bare fordi det ville være fedt at vise på SoMe. Ja, tro det eller ej – det er der nogen der gør. Og jeg må opfordre til at man ikke opstiller alting og bruger filtre – vis os nu bare virkligheden.

Jeg har et par gange holdt pause fra de sociale medier, fordi jeg følte det påvirkede mig negativt. Jeg fik en følelse af at jeg ikke slog til. Men det er jo selvfølgelig mit eget ansvar og det skyldtes nok også, at jeg generelt ikke levede et liv i balance. Hvis man ikke lever et liv balance, så er jeg ret sikker på at medierne kan påvirke os negativt – og det gælder ikke kun for teenagere.

På SoMe kan man nemt få indtrykket af, at alle andre lever det perfekte liv. Alle laver så mange sjove aktiviteter med deres børn hele tiden. Alle andre laver lækker og sund mad hele tiden. Alle andre træner hele tiden. Alle andre er smask forelsket hele tiden. Alle andre går moderigtigt klædt altid. Alle andre kan lægge den rigtige make up. Alle andre er så smukke osv. osv. Men heldigvis er der også kommet en modbølge på Instagram. Jeg er fan af fx @kathrinegisinger og synes hun er en fantastisk inspiration. Og jeg ville ønske jeg kunne få bare lidt af hendes mod.

Jeg synes det er beundringsværdigt når man på SoMe kan dele alt fra at man er blevet fyret til man har scoret sin drømmefyr #fuckjanteloven. Og jeg vil altid tilstræbe selv at vise mit liv på godt og ondt. Jeg mener på ingen måde noget negativt om dem der ikke gør det. For det er helt ok at sortere i hvad man viser andre på SoMe – det har jeg stor respekt for. Men jeg kan til tider få lange patter (apropos kropsidealet) af at se profiler som er plastret til med filtreret og opstillede billeder.

Men for mit vedkommende skal det være slut med at bruge mere energi på at nå kropsidealet eller det perfekte liv, hvilket iøvrigt aldrig kunne lade sig gøre. Jeg er snart 40 år og jeg er mor til tvillinger, hvilket har sat sine spor. Jeg vil være sund og rask, men glæden er i sidste ende det vigtigste. Når jeg en dag sidder på plejehjemmet og kigger tilbage på mit liv, så ville jeg fortryde, hvis jeg havde brugt det meste af mit liv på at tælle kalorier og pumpe jern i fitness centret, for at nå et kropsideal. Jeg vil mindes en hverdag i balance og med fokus på nydelse.

Og til sidst synes jeg du skal tænke over flg.:

  • Vil du helst have den perfekte krop, men ikke føle dig lykkelig?

eller

  • Vil du helst føle dig lykkelig og aldrig få den perfekte krop?

Jeg håber de fleste vælger den sidste. Så derfor vil jeg opfordre til, at vi alle flytter noget af al den energi vi bruger på at opnå en perfekt krop eller et perfekt liv over på at opnå mental sundhed og et liv i balance. Og husk nu,  jeg synes intet dårligt om jer der træner meget eller spiser sundt – bare I gør det af lyst. Også er der jo dem som er nødt til det pga. sit helbred/sygdom og I er bare for seje.

Tak fordi du læste med 😊
Kærligst Zinna

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