Vi går “ALL IN”!

Onsdag kom dagen endelig hvor jeg havde min aftale på Modicklinikken i Odense. Jeg er meget ambivalent når folk spørger hvordan det gik. På den ene side er jeg ved at tude af glæde over de forventninger de har til behandlingens resultat og på den anden side er jeg bange for at tro på deres prognoser – jeg er så bange for at blive skuffet igen. Jeg troede jo også at operationen for min diskusprolaps ville være min redning – men nej!

Hanne Albert som er en af de førende forskere indenfor Modicforandringer har startet klinikken. I mine tidligere indlæg kan du læse meget mere om hvad Modicforandringer er og hvilken behandling jeg nu skal starte gennem Modicklinikken.

Det var en MEGA hård dag med 3 timers kørsel + 3 timers information + 1 times laserbehandling. Så jeg har været hårdt ramt efter vi kom hjem og igår var jeg nødt til at melde fra til en surprice fødselsdagsbrunch for min gode veninde – pisse meget ØV😢😫 Det var en af de dage hvor jeg gik rundt i en tåge og levede af yoghurt og havrefras, fordi jeg ikke engang orkede at smøre en rugbrødsmad. Og jeg havde slet ikke en hjerne der kunne skrive dette indlæg. Heldigvis er der trods alt ikke så mange af de dage. I dag er en af de gode dage uden voldsomme smerter – ved ikke om det skyldes at jeg lå i sengen det meste af dagen igår eller om det måske er den laserbehandling jeg fik på klinikken.

Nå, men da vi ankom til klinikken startede jeg med at udfylde et spørgeskema omkring mine symptomer, smerteniveau og hvordan mit liv er påvirket af smerterne. Derefter skulle det uddybes yderligere ved en samtale. Også blev vi endnu engang mindet om at HELE vores liv drejer sig om mig og min skide ryg. Alt skal planlægges efter mine behov og som jeg skrev i mit tidligere indlæg “Smerterne rammer hele familien” så er det enormt frustrerende. Et af spørgsmålene var også hvad jeg ønsker at kunne men ikke kan i dag pga. smerter. Jeg startede med at sige:

  • Sove mere end 4-5 timer om natten
  • Sidde ned mere end ½ time uden smerter
  • Arbejde min. 20 timer om ugen (undgå flexjob)
  • Lave husligt arbejde (madlavning, rengøring, osv.)
  • Deltage i sociale arrangementer uden at smerterne skal distrahere mig

Så spurgte hun om ikke der var mere??? Hvad mener hun nu med det? Var det ikke nok at forlange? Disse ting ville jo gøre vi kunne få en normal hverdag. Men så kom drømmen om alle de ting jeg for mange år siden havde slået helt ud af mit hovede, og jeg aldrig troede ville blive muligt igen. Tænk hvis jeg kunne:

  • Blive spinning instruktør igen
  • Mountain bike med min mand
  • Klatre, rapelle, lange vandreture og prøve at surfe
  • Stå på ski igen
  • Tag på storbyferier og vandre rundt hele dagen
  • Spille fodbold med ungerne og hoppe på trampolin med dem

Det er alt sammen drømme scenario og jeg var ved at tude af glæde bare ved tanken. Selvom de har meget høje forventninger til behandlingen og tror på jeg kan alt dette om 2 år, så er jeg så ufattelig bange for at drømme disse drømme. Men tænk nu hvis…… det kilder helt i maven som når man er nyforelsket.

Selvom jeg havde mest lyst til at drømme videre, så gik vi videre til en meget grundig lægelig, men fuldt forståelig gennemgang af hvad der helt konkret sker i kroppen når man har Modicforandringer, hvilken forskning der er lavet og hvilken sandsynlighed der er for at blive rask. Mine scanningsbilleder blev også meget grundigt gennemgået hvilket var en positiv oplevelse. Jeg har jo nogle degenereret diskos (slidgigt) og nogle udposninger/arvæv på flere diskos efter operationen for diskusprolaps. Men deres vurdering er at denne del ikke er så slem, at det ikke kan holdes nogenlunde nede med målrettet træning. Det vil jo betyde at hvis de har ret i det og jeg får behandlet Modicforandringerne med succes, så skulle træning i bedste fald kunne afhjælpe resten.

Modicforandringerne ser ikke voldsomme ud på scanningen, men de forklarede at omfanget som kan ses på scanningen ikke nødvendigvis hænger sammen med omfanget af smerter. Så smerterne kan være de samme om det er et stort eller lille område der er angrebet. Har forsøgt at forklare lidt på scanningsbillederne ovenfor.

Medicin og hvil i løbet af dagen

Til sidst fik vi en meget grundig instruktion omkring den 100 dages antibiotika kur jeg nu er startet på i dag. Jeg har fået udleveret et meget præcist skema, som viser hvornår jeg skal tage antibiotika og alt det andet medicin/kosttilskud jeg skal have. Den viser også hvornår og hvor meget jeg skal hvile i løbet af dagen. Det starter hver dag kl. 6.30 og slutter kl. 22.30 og tiderne må max. afviges med 30 min. Jeg har svært nok ved at huske de 4 gange om dagen jeg tager medicin nu, så jeg er simpelthen nødt  at sætte en masse alarmer. Sådan kommer mit liv så til at se ud de næste 100 dage!!

De første 100 dage er der fuld fokus på at antibiotikaen skal ind og bekæmpe den bakterie som æder marven i mine ryghvirvler. Knoglemarven er bygget op som et stillads/gitter, og når bakterien æder af den bliver den skrøbelig og der sker løbende små brud på stilladset. Efterhånden er der områder helt uden stillads og disse områder fyldes istedet med en væske som i vabler. Jeg skal hver dag have 3000 mg antibiotika hvilket er en ret høj dosis, men det skal der åbenbart til for at den kan nå helt ind i mine diskos/ryghvirvler. I denne periode skal jeg holde mig meget i ro, sygemeldes, ingen tunge løft, ingen rengøring eller træning. Dette er for netop at begrænse at der ikke sker flere små brud inde i knoglen. Jeg skal tilmed ligge fladt ned i 30 min. 5 gange om dagen.

Når bakterien forhåbentlig er slået ihjel efter 100 dage skal jeg ligeså stille i gang med genoptræning. Knoglemarven genopbygger sig selv igen over tid, men hjælpes i denne behandling på vej med laserbehandling og kalktilskud. Genopbygningen kan tage op til 2 år og derfor starter genoptræningen meget skånsomt og løbende bygges der på.

Det er meget vigtigt at man følger deres vejledning for at opnå de bedste resultater. Nogle mærker en virkning af behandlingen allerede efter 4-6 uger (andre aldrig!), og det kan være svært at holde sig i ro og ikke lave noget, hvis man pludselig har færre smerter. Men jeg kan mærke på mig selv, at jeg er klar til at gå all in på projekt “kampen mod smerterne”. Jeg vil hellere gøre det 100% nu også måske være i topform igen om 1-2 år, end jeg vil gøre det halvt også ende med kun at få lidt fremgang over mange flere år. Og jeg vil nødig se mig selv i spejlet om ½ år vidende at jeg ikke havde gjort alt det der skulle til, og bebrejde mig selv for at resultatet ikke er tilfredsstillende. Det er som at stå med dårlige karakter som student, og vide at man kunne have gjort det meget bedre, hvis man bare var gået all in – og vi får sgu ikke en chance mere!

46 piller om dagen (heldigvis er en stor del kosttilskud for at begrænse bivirkningerne)

Det sværeste er at min mand virkelig trækker et stort læs, og jeg kan mærke han kæmper hver dag og jeg er bekymret for ham. Han er jo også bare et menneske, og han har altid skulle være min klippe (mit rygmareridt startede ½ år efter vi mødte hinanden – for 14 år siden). Alle inkl. mig selv har altid bare tænkt “det klarer Søren” for det har han jo altid gjort!! Men hvad nu hvis han pludselig ikke kan mere…….? Det er fysisk hårdt for ham at skulle trække det store læs med alt det praktiske, men som han selv siger så fylder bekymringerne for mig og vores fremtid også rigtig meget. Vi snakker meget om hvordan vi må lære at lade stå til. Vi kan begge godt lide når der er rent og ordenligt, så vi arbejder med at være mere ligeglade og bruge tiden på det vigtige.

Jeg glæder mig så meget til vi forhåbentlig kan have overskud til andet end bare at få alt det praktiske til at køre rundt. Tænk hvis vi kunne få overskud til hinanden og til at være kærester igen. Hvis vi kunne opleve noget sammen igen. Forstå mig ret – vi elsker hinanden, men når man i ny og næ får afsat børnene og trækker sig selv afsted på restaurant eller til en koncert, så er det bare ikke det samme når man er så udmattet at man næsten ikke har overskud til at snakke sammen og tager hjem på hovedet i seng så snart koncerten er slut.

Mit yndlingscitat er “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” og det omhandler ikke kun mig og mit helbred, men i den grad også vores forhold. Vi har haft utroligt meget modgang (ikke kun mit helbred), og derfor er jeg også stensikker på, at vi er stærkere end mange andre forhold. Selvfølgelig er der perioder, hvor man har lyst til at løbe skrigende væk (det tror jeg alle længere forhold oplever) men her er det man skal have troen på, at man kan klare modgangen sammen. Heldigvis tager min mand det meget bogstaveligt når man i kirken lover “i medgang og modgang til døden os skiller”, og når jeg i mine dårlige perioder har kastet i hovedet af ham, at han ville få et bedre liv med en anden som han ikke skulle tage så meget hensyn til, så bliver han ret sur på mig. Så selvom jeg slås med en skyldfølelse, så skal jeg jo huske på, at jeg ville gøre det samme for ham hvis det var omvendt.

Konklusionen er så at jeg (vi) går all in og investerer nu en længere periode på, at jeg kan få det bedre, og at vi kan få en normal hverdag og et liv med overskud til oplevelser og kærlighed. Mange siger at tro kan flytte bjerge – så JEG VÆLGER AT TRO PÅ DET!

Tak fordi du læste med 😊
Kærligst Zinna

P.S. Det skal lige nævnes at denne behandlingsform endnu ikke er godkendt af Sundhedsstyrelsen og udføres derfor ikke andre steder end på Modicklinikken (så vidt jeg er informeret). Dog har jeg hørt at en enkel læge/forsker i Middelfart også giver denne AB behandling (i det offentlige). Min behandling er derfor egenbetaling. Jeg ved der er andre med Modicforandringer som følger med her og jeg vil inden længe lave et mere detaljeret indlæg omkring priser osv., så det kan tages med i jeres overvejelser om at starte AB behandling. Jeg kan dog ikke komme med en vurdering af om det har været det hele værd før om 1-2 år.

You may also like

53 kommentarer

  1. Hejsa.
    Velkommen i klubben, en klub man ville ønske man kunne gå udenom.
    Jeg har selv været gennem den behandling som du nu er gået i gang med. Det kræver en stor portion positivitet, tålmodighed og at være ekstrem lydhør overfor kroppen, som helt sikkert nok skal fortælle dig hvis du ikke gør som du har fået foreskrevet. Og hende Hanne er en bestemt dame , men helt sikkert meget meget dygtig. Jeg blev god til i de 100 dage, at finde ting man kan lave liggende, for tv kommer alt for hurtig til at være kedeligt, man kan strikke, hækle og nærmest få diplom i google . Nu er jeg i gang med genoptræning og har ingen ide om hvor og hvornår jeg kommer i gang med et arbejde igen. Men det er ikke noget der bekymre mig lige nu, lige nu er JEG vigtig og det siger jeg for første gang i mit lange liv. Jeg kan ikke endnu sidde længere end 20 min på en alm stol, men jeg kan gå 1,5 km og holde ud at nusse rundt i meget længere tid end tidligere. Jeg har en enorm forstående mand og børn, som også holder mig i ørene, da jeg har det med at glemme at lytte til kroppen.
    Ønsker dig alt det bedste og håber det er okay at jeg følger med og evt deler din side på min egen blog.

    1. Hej Majbrit
      Tusind tak for din besked. Det er altid dejligt at høre fra andre som er med i den uønskede klub. Jeg har hørt det samme fra andre – altså at det bliver 100 dage der kræver stor tålmodighed. Jeg var i forbindelse med graviditet og fødsel af mine tvillinger indlagt i lige knap 3 mdr. og prøver at sammenligne det lidt med det. Hvis jeg kan klare det – kan jeg også klare det her. Men dengang fik jeg den største gave i livet med derfra og det var dermed det hele værd. Og jeg prøver at huske på at her kan jeg også få en stor gave, nemlig at blive “helbredt”. Så jeg skal nok klare det, selvom der helt sikkert vil komme dage hvor jeg ikke tror på det. Jeg er glad for at have bloggen at bruge tid på og jeg er kommet i kontakt med så mange søde mennesker (som dig) – det er som om man næsten kender hinanden fordi man har en indbyrdes forståelse. Også går tiden jo også bare med at alting foregår i slowmotion. Jeg tror det værste for mig bliver isolationen – altså at jeg ikke ser ret mange mennesker, men det er jeg ved at arbejde med.
      Dejligt at du er igennem kuren og nu kan starte genoptræning – håber det betyder at du er igennem det værste. Og jeg håber virkelig du kommer til at mærke mere fremgang.
      Du er MEGET velkommen til at følge med (også gerne på FB eller Instagram) og dele min side. Men jeg vil også meget gerne høre hvor jeg kan finde din blog
      Kærligst Zinna

  2. Kære Zinna
    Jeg er blevet tilbudt behandlingen, så det er så dejligt at kunne bladre rundt herinde og læse om dig og dit forløb. Tak! Kh Tanja

  3. My spouse and i have been cheerful John managed to carry out his survey with the precious recommendations he was given when using the weblog. It’s not at all simplistic just to happen to be making a gift of helpful hints which most people could have been trying to sell. Therefore we see we need the writer to thank because of that. The entire illustrations you have made, the straightforward website menu, the friendships you aid to engender – it is most incredible, and it’s really assisting our son and the family imagine that that concept is amusing, which is very serious. Many thanks for all the pieces!

  4. Can I just say what a relief to seek out someone who actually knows what theyre talking about on the internet. You positively know how you can bring a problem to gentle and make it important. More folks need to read this and understand this aspect of the story. I cant consider youre no more fashionable because you undoubtedly have the gift.

  5. I precisely wished to say thanks once again. I do not know the things I would have gone through in the absence of the actual tricks discussed by you relating to that area of interest. This has been an absolute depressing situation in my position, however , discovering the well-written form you managed the issue made me to cry over contentment. I will be grateful for your advice as well as wish you recognize what a powerful job your are doing educating some other people by way of your blog. I am sure you haven’t come across all of us.

  6. A lot of thanks for all your valuable efforts on this website. My daughter delights in getting into research and it’s easy to see why. My spouse and i know all of the dynamic manner you provide important information by means of your website and as well boost contribution from people on the subject matter then our child is in fact studying a lot of things. Enjoy the remaining portion of the year. You’re performing a splendid job.

  7. My wife and i have been quite joyful that Raymond managed to round up his basic research through the entire precious recommendations he discovered from your web site. It’s not at all simplistic to simply possibly be giving away helpful hints that the others may have been trying to sell. And we also keep in mind we have the website owner to thank for that. The specific explanations you have made, the straightforward site menu, the relationships your site aid to instill – it’s got all overwhelming, and it’s facilitating our son in addition to our family believe that this theme is awesome, and that’s rather important. Thank you for all!

  8. I am just writing to make you be aware of what a extraordinary discovery my princess undergone using your blog. She came to find a lot of details, which include what it’s like to possess an amazing coaching mood to get the rest easily fully grasp selected advanced subject matter. You truly did more than readers’ expected results. I appreciate you for imparting such essential, trusted, educational and as well as unique thoughts on that topic to Mary.

  9. I simply needed to say thanks again. I am not sure what I might have undertaken in the absence of the actual recommendations revealed by you concerning my field. It had become a real frustrating crisis for me personally, however , witnessing the expert form you resolved that made me to jump with joy. I’m just grateful for this information and thus hope you comprehend what a great job you have been providing educating the others via your site. I am sure you haven’t encountered all of us.

  10. I would like to express my love for your generosity giving support to people that actually need help on your topic. Your real commitment to passing the message around ended up being incredibly advantageous and has surely allowed workers like me to realize their ambitions. Your personal warm and friendly information denotes a whole lot a person like me and much more to my office colleagues. Regards; from all of us.

  11. I used to be more than happy to search out this internet-site.I wished to thanks to your time for this excellent read!! I definitely enjoying each little bit of it and I have you bookmarked to take a look at new stuff you blog post.

  12. I’ve been browsing on-line greater than three hours lately, yet I by no means found any interesting
    article like yours. It’s beautiful value sufficient for me.
    Personally, if all webmasters and bloggers made good
    content as you did, the internet will likely be much more helpful than ever before.

  13. You really make it seem so easy with your presentation but I find
    this matter to be actually something which I think I would never understand.
    It seems too complicated and very broad for me.
    I am looking forward for your next post, I’ll try
    to get the hang of it!

  14. I have been browsing online more than 3 hours as of late, but I never discovered any attention-grabbing article like yours. It?¦s pretty worth enough for me. In my view, if all web owners and bloggers made excellent content as you probably did, the web will likely be a lot more useful than ever before.

  15. I intended to create you the little bit of note to give many thanks as before for these gorgeous methods you’ve contributed in this case. It was so seriously generous of you to offer unreservedly what exactly a lot of people could have offered for sale for an e book to end up making some bucks for themselves, mostly now that you might have tried it in the event you desired. These techniques as well served to be the fantastic way to recognize that the rest have similar fervor really like mine to find out somewhat more with reference to this issue. I’m certain there are millions of more enjoyable sessions in the future for people who read carefully your site.

  16. I and also my pals came reading through the best advice from your web page then the sudden developed a horrible feeling I had not thanked you for them. Those young boys were definitely very interested to see all of them and already have really been tapping into those things. Thanks for indeed being very considerate and also for making a decision on these kinds of fabulous subject areas most people are really eager to be informed on. Our own honest regret for not expressing appreciation to sooner.

  17. I precisely had to thank you so much yet again. I do not know the things that I could possibly have created without the entire tactics contributed by you over such concern. It seemed to be a very frightful case for me, nevertheless witnessing a new well-written way you dealt with that forced me to cry with gladness. Extremely thankful for the guidance as well as have high hopes you realize what an amazing job your are providing teaching people through your webblog. I know that you have never encountered all of us.

  18. A lot of thanks for each of your labor on this web page. My mom delights in conducting research and it’s really simple to grasp why. Almost all know all of the compelling way you offer sensible guidelines via your blog and as well as welcome participation from other ones about this subject then our favorite girl has always been becoming educated a lot. Have fun with the rest of the year. You are doing a fantastic job.

  19. I have to point out my passion for your kind-heartedness supporting individuals who require assistance with in this matter. Your very own dedication to passing the solution all over had been rather practical and have constantly permitted girls just like me to get to their endeavors. Your warm and friendly tips and hints can mean a lot a person like me and additionally to my office colleagues. With thanks; from everyone of us.

  20. I must point out my respect for your generosity supporting people who require help with that study. Your personal dedication to getting the message all over had been extraordinarily practical and has truly permitted guys and women just like me to get to their targets. Your amazing interesting publication denotes so much a person like me and still more to my peers. Warm regards; from all of us.

  21. My husband and i ended up being very more than happy when Albert managed to deal with his survey with the precious recommendations he grabbed while using the web site. It’s not at all simplistic to simply find yourself making a gift of concepts some other people could have been trying to sell. And we also fully grasp we need the writer to give thanks to for this. The most important explanations you made, the simple website menu, the friendships you aid to foster – it is everything incredible, and it is facilitating our son and our family imagine that this situation is interesting, and that’s seriously mandatory. Thanks for all the pieces!

  22. I’m just commenting to let you be aware of of the exceptional discovery my wife’s child encountered browsing your blog. She mastered several issues, with the inclusion of what it is like to possess an awesome teaching spirit to have the others completely comprehend chosen complicated topics. You really did more than our desires. Many thanks for offering the precious, dependable, informative and easy tips about that topic to Lizeth.

  23. I just wanted to develop a brief message to be able to appreciate you for these remarkable concepts you are showing at this site. My particularly long internet look up has now been rewarded with reputable tips to share with my visitors. I ‘d express that we visitors are definitely fortunate to exist in a useful site with very many lovely people with insightful secrets. I feel extremely fortunate to have seen your entire site and look forward to really more amazing moments reading here. Thanks a lot once again for all the details.

  24. My spouse and i got really thankful that Chris could complete his inquiry because of the ideas he got in your weblog. It’s not at all simplistic to just find yourself handing out secrets which usually people today might have been trying to sell. And we also do understand we’ve got the website owner to give thanks to because of that. Most of the explanations you’ve made, the straightforward web site navigation, the friendships you help to engender – it is most astounding, and it is assisting our son and our family know that the content is fun, which is exceptionally indispensable. Thanks for the whole thing!

  25. I and also my guys were actually checking the nice information located on your web page and then I had a horrible suspicion I had not thanked the blog owner for those secrets. These young boys became absolutely very interested to see all of them and now have in actuality been taking pleasure in those things. Appreciation for simply being considerably considerate and also for opting for this sort of tremendous issues most people are really needing to understand about. Our honest regret for not saying thanks to you sooner.

  26. Thank you so much for giving everyone such a superb opportunity to read critical reviews from here. It’s always very beneficial plus full of a great time for me and my office colleagues to search your website at a minimum 3 times in one week to read through the new guides you have got. And definitely, I’m so certainly contented with the incredible advice you give. Some 3 tips in this posting are without a doubt the most beneficial I have ever had.

  27. I needed to post you that little word to be able to say thanks again for your personal breathtaking guidelines you have featured here. It has been simply remarkably open-handed with you to convey easily precisely what a lot of people might have supplied as an e book to generate some dough for themselves, most notably since you could have done it in case you decided. The principles in addition acted to be a easy way to fully grasp some people have a similar interest really like my very own to understand a whole lot more in regard to this issue. Certainly there are several more fun sessions in the future for those who look over your site.

  28. My husband and i were very thrilled when Albert managed to finish off his studies while using the ideas he grabbed while using the weblog. It’s not at all simplistic just to happen to be giving freely things which often people might have been making money from. So we grasp we have the blog owner to give thanks to for that. The specific illustrations you have made, the straightforward web site menu, the relationships you will assist to create – it is most unbelievable, and it’s really assisting our son and us reason why that subject is enjoyable, which is seriously serious. Thank you for the whole thing!

  29. My husband and i have been really satisfied Edward managed to carry out his basic research from the precious recommendations he discovered through your site. It is now and again perplexing just to choose to be making a gift of tips and hints which many people may have been making money from. And we understand we have got the blog owner to give thanks to for this. All the illustrations you made, the straightforward blog navigation, the friendships your site make it easier to instill – it’s got everything fabulous, and it’s really assisting our son and our family consider that that concept is brilliant, and that’s highly fundamental. Many thanks for the whole lot!

  30. I really wanted to write down a simple word to express gratitude to you for some of the fabulous tricks you are placing at this website. My long internet look up has now been rewarded with useful ideas to exchange with my neighbours. I ‘d assert that many of us readers are really lucky to exist in a very good website with many perfect individuals with interesting pointers. I feel quite lucky to have used the weblog and look forward to really more fun times reading here. Thank you again for all the details.

  31. I really wanted to make a brief remark in order to appreciate you for the superb ways you are giving out here. My incredibly long internet lookup has finally been compensated with reasonable facts and strategies to go over with my colleagues. I would claim that most of us site visitors are rather lucky to dwell in a very good website with so many outstanding individuals with interesting tricks. I feel extremely privileged to have discovered your entire webpage and look forward to plenty of more fabulous times reading here. Thank you once more for everything.

  32. I and my buddies have been digesting the excellent points located on your site and all of the sudden got a terrible suspicion I never thanked the website owner for those secrets. My ladies are actually as a result excited to read all of them and have in effect honestly been making the most of those things. Many thanks for being considerably thoughtful and also for using this kind of brilliant tips most people are really needing to learn about. Our honest apologies for not expressing gratitude to sooner.

  33. I precisely desired to thank you very much once again. I’m not certain the things I would have created without the actual strategies shared by you regarding my concern. Previously it was a real horrifying setting in my view, nevertheless witnessing the very expert tactic you resolved that forced me to cry for contentment. I’m thankful for your advice and trust you comprehend what an amazing job you were providing instructing most people by way of a web site. I’m certain you haven’t got to know all of us.

Skriv et svar

Din e-mailadresse vil ikke blive publiceret.